I want you to scan through your memories up till the point you are reading this post, how many people, whom had crossed your lines, have you forgiven?
If you are taking some time to recollect and instead counted how many you have not forgiven, it means you have some unfinished business that need to be taken care of, in the sense of emotional knots to be taken care of. If you straight up say that you have totally forgiven all those who had hurt you, you are really truly a gem which the world badly needs.
When we think that forgiveness is a sign of weakness, why do we even have this thought? From my own perspective, these are the following reasons:
- Your own ego
- You are brought up in an environment whereby a sincere word of "Sorry" appears rarer than the chance of Mars colliding Earth
- You are afraid people will laugh at you
- You are bullied/abused horribly and for a long period of time
The good side of you will definitely encourage forgiveness as letting go certain things or people is the only way to move forward in life but ego has other thoughts, telling you that if you forgive, the people/situation will take advantage of you and you win never win over this struggle, your ego also tells you if you forgive, it means you are admiting defeat and allow the situation or people to climb over you. That is why ego is one big hindrance when it comes to forgiving, unwilling to let go of your tougher side to reveal your softer nature.
For the second point, if you are one of those brought up in an environment where the word "sorry" is rarer than finding an actual alien, i personally feel sad and empathize with you all. Because you had lived in a world where the toughest wins and whoever show kindness and forgiveness ends up beaten up like a thrash can...i personally live through that and these kinds of unhealthy environment will only cage you up, making your world smaller. My advice is to forgive your parents or siblings or any family members who raised you up in these harsh environment, now its time for you to seek out new friends and environments where there are abundance of positivity, where showing kindness and compassion is embraced.
The third point above which i mentioned above for fear of people laugh at you or having impression of you as weak is similar to ego issues, one comes from your pride and the other stems from your fear, both are playing major roles when you having ego issues.
The last point i talked about being bullied to the point where you find it hard to forgive people anymore...this is very tragic and i really hope cases like this can just disappear with a snap of finger. Everyone is born kind and pure into this world but in the world of bullies, they will want to drain out any traces of positivity on anyone they can have their hands on, then sadly and ultimately, converting those kind-hearted people to someone who speaks evil and forgave no one who hurt them. They will want to protect their self-interest, protect themselves from future bullies so they have to toughen up and showing any sign of weakness means the bullies will come for them again and again. They will began to hate, anger grew, planning and thinking of seeking revenge for themselves, and what comes after will be some regrettable consequences.
There may be certain events that are nearly unforgivable like people taking something precious from you, taking lives away etc, these are understandably unforgivable because we are humans, we have feelings but what you can do at this point is to tell yourself never to succumb to anger, hatred and fear just to seek revenge for your loss. When you do that, you became that someone you hated so much and also "an eye for an eye, makes the world go blind". If you do not want to turn yourself into evil, you need to at least tell yourself "I'm going to forgive that person who make me suffer so much, make me lose someone precious but maybe i will not forget you but i am going to live my life better and stronger for myself and for those who love me.".
Forgiveness is just one word, you will take less than 30 seconds to spell finish but to do it, some may take 30 years to fully understand what is forgiveness and how to forgive. It's a very easy word to use but do make you you are actively practicing it and let's make the world a more forgiving place.